Do what pleases you and do not always make decisions in your life by committee
Very well said! But don't make them in a vacuum either! Considering many sides of an issue is a big benefit here.
Not Feeling It
JoinedPosts by Not Feeling It
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383
Thinking of becoming a Witness again and my reasons for doing so :(
by reniaa ini've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
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Not Feeling It
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383
Thinking of becoming a Witness again and my reasons for doing so :(
by reniaa ini've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
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Not Feeling It
From what you said on the DF situation, the witnesses are still being very and overly strict on it, it's a shame although I can see why you can't just pat someone on the back and say all is forgiven, If you did that you'd be back to my ex-partners religion and their 'Get out of jail free' repentance card that has allowed him to justify abandoning me and our child with a little prayer and repentance. Still it does sound foolish and self-defeating to disfellowship those who have already been away years and would do nothing to help them,
So what do you think is the right amount of penitence to expect? Should we go back to the Israelites standards of Mosaic law or even modern Muslim Sharia? If you (gasp!) had a child out of wedlock wouldn't you be subject to prompt execution? Take it a step down to the disfellowshipping rules and you have to be treated as dead until 3 men decide you have produced fiting works of repentence.
Is it really up to a man-made church to determine if you are forgiven? They do it to "keep the congregation clean". I think that it should be up to the individual how to treat others. Personally, I would not regularly (or at all) hang out with someone who is a thief, certainly not a murderer, rapist, or a pedophile. Prison is an appropriate place for them. But when you get into issues that do not directly impact others that involve consenting adults I cannot see reason to shun a person.
But by the same token, someone who is repeatedly cruel, shallow, self-centered, or treating the mother of his children the way you were... Those people don't warrant my association either. Do I need a religion to mark them in such a way? No. I think they choose thier own path. Good riddance. Call me when you can behave decently and make ammends for the harm caused.
The Witness approach removes individual conscience and free choice.
I think you may be looking for the congregation to "give you what you deserve" because of your earlier conditioning that it is "loving"
Personally, I'm Not Feeling It
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383
Thinking of becoming a Witness again and my reasons for doing so :(
by reniaa ini've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
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Not Feeling It
Would you get DF'ed or not? I guess that is a roll of the dice depending on the temperment of the BOE (or even the comittee) where you return. It is clear to me that god is not driving consistency or quality assurance there. If you go back to a "hang 'em high" type of congregation then you can draw your own conclusions. I have known other congregations that were fairly liberal on forgiving transgressions while people were away. They took the "we are not the spiritual police" attitude that you are responsible for your own actions.
I do feel for your situation. Being a JW colors your view in many ways. I think a lack of self worth can be a common symptom. I tend to internalize my anger. It has left me very cold toward the JW faith. I've done a small amount of therapy which has helped. I definitely think talking it over would be best for you.
You have a huge decision before you with respect to your children. Being raised as a JW made me even more introverted and ashamed of how I had to live (particularly in school). No amount of coaching at the KH changed that.
I think many JWs get something positive out of the faith. But that element of fear (not that godly fear they talk about either) is too much for me. It's just a substitute hellfire. Obey or die.
I think the newbie JW that commented earlier (Queenie?) on why you should return didn't have much to back it up except for insinuations of that fear -- as in: You know its right so get off your duff and go do it! That isn't really an argument. Its more of the "rah rah", cheerleader, high-pressure sales pitches that turn me off ANYWHERE I see them (JWs, MLMs like Amway, Noni Juice, etc...)
I hope the best for you regardless of what you choose.
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Why can't US witnesses wish "good luck"?
by kifoy ini've often read here on jwd that a jw can't wish someone "good luck".
i've searched this forum and i've searched the wt library, but i have not been able to find anything.
can someone please explain why?
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Not Feeling It
It makes thier heads explode. Literally. I've seen it happen. Very messy.
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Need help please: re blood doctrine discussion with elder
by yesidid ini was saying to an elder that the gb now says it's ok to have hemogloblin.
he nearly flipped his lid.. now he wants proof from the societies publications.
he also said hemopure is only 2% hemogloblin.
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Not Feeling It
He also said hemopure is only 2% hemogloblin. I don't know how to prove this stuff.
In any case it's still a lame argument he's making. So if hemoglobin is bad and hemopure is OK, then isn't 2% of it still bad? Hook me up with a 2% doobie. Maybe I can have 2% extramarital sex. I'll get 2% of my college degree. I'll only make 2% of the meetings...
Lame reasoning. Thier entire argument went to pot the minute they released the fractions rules/conscience matters. The old adage about not drinking alchohol but taking it intravenously kinda becomes challenging once you decide you can consume most of its parts.
There are extensive other well-formed arguments here if you search
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"Encouraging" Emails
by Not Feeling It inmaybe you still get some "encouraging" email forwards with cute stories and anecdotes.
this one i saw really hit a nerve with me.
i think so-and-so needs to read that.
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Not Feeling It
This probably is used by all the churches that lack a creative imagination - just substitute Baptists, Adventists, etc. for Witnesses.
So Seeker4 was right from the beginning. Oh well, so the JWs can't even come up with an original, judgemental thought. Now the reasons for being judgemental sure are original.
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I like gay people.
by Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit inin fact, if what you are has 'people' after it, no matter what it is, i like you.
you don't have to club baby seals to be my friend.. myeah..
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Not Feeling It
Yep. I'm all for behavior between consenting adults provided it does not adversely affect me.
I like the way JK put it. They are no different from the good/bad/tolerable/annoying ratio that the rest of the population contains.
// Not scientific, just my humble opinion in case you were wondering
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"Encouraging" Emails
by Not Feeling It inmaybe you still get some "encouraging" email forwards with cute stories and anecdotes.
this one i saw really hit a nerve with me.
i think so-and-so needs to read that.
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Not Feeling It
Not Feeling It - excellent nom de plume!
Thanks VoidEater. I decided on that name and joining this site after having a particularly long conversation with my father (a very moderate elder) regarding why I haven't been to meetings/service/etc... for 10 years. I was a fader before I knew what one was here.
At one point in the conversation I said something to the effect of there may be a spiritual need for some and I'm not discounting what religion does for many as a revolutionary life changing process, but I am simply not feeling it. I can't say I have that spiritual need at least not that I miss. Maybe my life hasn't been hard enough. Maybe I take too much for granted. I don't know but I like how things are going for my wife and I. I wouldn't change anything.
I love my father and I respect his and many JW's beliefs. However, I think that the majority of JW's are self-righteous and judgemental like the thoughts expressed in this "loving" little rhyme.
Evidence of the revolving door of the Watchtower. It doesn't go unnoticed.
Kwin
I'm not so sure about the noticing. I think leadership and the R&F do notice to an extent. But... (as PeeWee Herman said "Everybody has a really big but") I think that your average or majority JW see the churn as sifting the disloyal or gleaning the wheat from the weeds, narrow door, broad road to destruction or some other trite analogy for why people are "not of our sort" and then they can conveniently abandon them without even once unclamping thier hands from thier ears to listen to intelligent debate and MAYBE, even POSSIBLY change into an organization that is rational and accepting of other views (never mind all that false prophesy).
You should send a reply to the moron who sent this to you
StAnn, I have told several people that I don't care to read forwards that are judgemental. In this case it would cause more trouble than its worth. I'm not much for bashing old ladies who won't live that long anyway
Glad you all "enjoyed" that post. Everyone can use a good groan every now and again.
Have a nice weekend!
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A Jehovahs Witness just called on my door
by mouthy into invite me to the march 22nd do.
please pray for him.
i invited him in because it is so cold.. poor soul !!!!
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Not Feeling It
All of us "apostates" are supposed to be venom spewing raving lunatics.
Hear, hear, JK! Anger can be a valuable part of the greiving/leaving process. But holding on to it forever is counter-productive.
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"Encouraging" Emails
by Not Feeling It inmaybe you still get some "encouraging" email forwards with cute stories and anecdotes.
this one i saw really hit a nerve with me.
i think so-and-so needs to read that.
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Not Feeling It
I was beginning to think the only replies I would get to this would be the pukey emoticon (which is about how I felt anyway)
The fiesty responses to this kind of pablum are why I read this site -- Classic poetic response, the real story behind why so many have left, and rational look the lame associations between leaving and petty behavior.
You guys do not disappoint!